10. Managing stress by being determined to succeed

Coaching

Often stress management is about making commitments to take action, to change habits, to let go of certain attitudes or to think differently. For example:

• Take action - ask for a raise
• Change habits - stop smoking
• Let go of an attitude - Billy needs me to do this for him
• Think differently - I can be very successful with this project.

But it takes self-confidence and determination to fulfill commitments. If you have trouble following through once you've decided to change, consider The Determination Spectrum. It defines the stages of commitment.

Stage 1: I won't do it, I don't want to, no determination
Stage 2: I can't do it
Stage 3: I want to do it
Stage 4: I will try to do it
Stage 5: I can do it
Stage 6: I commit, "Will do" determination

Stage 1 is characterized by anxiety, fear and doubt. When you add know how and positive thinking you gain self confidence which characterizes Stage 6. Here are some things you can do to replace anxiety, fear and doubt with self-confidence.

• Develop self-esteem by recognizing your skills and accomplishments
- one way is to write down and regularly review a victory list for yourself, a list of your accomplishments
• Develop a habit of rewarding yourself when you work hard
• Use affirmations daily to build your confidence
- affirmations are short positive statements you repeat to yourself every day
- affirmations are a way of flooding your mind with "positive self talk"
• Encourage confidence by recognizing success
- make a note of things you do well
- at the end of every day diarize your successes that day
• Seek the support of others
- start a "mutual admiration society" with your friends to raise each others' spirits
• Keep a list of things you want; goals and material possessions
- whenever you achieve one you cross it off the list
- keep both lists visible; what you have achieved and what you still want

Mentoring

Select a goal you have and make a list of things you can do to build your self-confidence and Stage 6 "will do" determination

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