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7. Managing stress by changing your thinking about stressful situations

Coaching

When you're in a stressful situation you have three alternatives if you want to take some action to relieve the distress you suffer.

You can change your reaction to the stressful situation.
You can change your thinking (attitudes, beliefs, opinions) in the stressful situation.
You can take a temporary break from the situation.

To help you change your thinking in stressful situations, consider common debilitating thinking styles people suffer from in stressful situations and some useful remedies:

Debilitating Thinking Style	Remedy
Negative self talk I'm dumb, I've made a mistake, I'm inadequate	Interrupt. Replace with positive statements about yourself People change when they feel good enough not when they feel bad enough
Comparisons negative comparisons to other people	Affirmations, coping statements
Unrealistic expectations, negative beliefs All or nothing thinking "Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda" thinking we put ourselves down for past actions or inaction now out of our control	Discover and change your belief. Consider the possibility of another possibility Challenge what you think by adding "or maybe not"
Worry "I won't get it done" "where will the money come from" "they don't really like me" "where will the work come from"	Talk to someone, Write about it. What's the worst case? Plan to think about it at specific times but not at other times

Mentoring

Consider two stressful situations that are causing you discomfort. Write about each stressful situation, your current thinking style, and how you might change your thinking to have a more positive thinking response to the stressful situation. Refer to the chart above.

First stressful situation

Current thinking style

New more positive thinking style

Second stressful situation

Current thinking style

New more positive thinking style

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